Let’s talk openly about all Invisible Illnesses

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Halloo,

Why do we get uncomfortable when people talk about their health problems?

Yes, why, please? I really want to know.

Have you noticed the rate of suicide recently? Or take a look at the high number of people living with Mental Illness like depression and anxiety, and see how the number has increased in recent years.

Most of these people have no one to talk to, not that they have no family or friends, they have plenty of people. But none of these people make them comfortable or approachable to open their hearts to.

Do you have any idea how hard that is? Especially to a mind that is already suffering.

Our attitudes and behaviour are contributing to the healing or non-healing of vulnerable people. Most of these people try so hard not to complain or show the level of their anguish just so you don’t consider them a liability. And when it gets too much and they finally voice out, what do they get?

No understanding. No sympathy. Makes my blood boil really!

Close family members always lament the fact that they didn’t know that suicide victims were suffering that much. Maybe so, but invisible illnesses are not so invisible if you take a closer look, especially to those you care about.

Many people are crying themselves to sleep almost every night because of invisible illness. They are tired of suffering, especially in silence. They will talk if given assurance that you care. Talking is part of healing in case you don’t know.

How can they talk? When what you do to those who talked is to judge them harshly! That is when you are not ignoring them.

Have you any idea the guilt some of us carry around because we cant do most of what is expected of us because of invisible illness? Many people with physical illnesses will not feel or be made to feel the same level of guilt.

Invisible illness is real. The people suffering from it are not to be dismissed as attention seekers or told to get their acts together. They will if they could.

I have been living with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain for many years now. I have gone through some horrible times and discover the disgusting nature of some human beings.

It took me ages to make up my mind to speak openly about it. I feared being judged, being mocked, or criticized. Guess what? I was proven right on all counts. But I was ready!

I made a decision to talk openly about my struggle with chronic pain, and some people think judging and criticizing me is what is called for. You people have no idea and I hope you never get to find out the sheer determination needed to keep going.

There are people, right now, in their homes, suffering, wondering, almost giving up because bad health has taken over their lives. I was that person.

If my humble write-ups can encourage these people to see that there is hope, to see they can have a life, career, business, whatever they desired, then I have accomplished my goal.

I am sad that even in this day and age when lots of media are crying and shouting about the importance of mental-health awareness many people are still ignorant and will choose to criticize those working hard to bring this awareness to people’s attention.

My fellow Africans, it is a shame this behaviour is mostly from us. We are most comfortable when people choose to suffer in silence. We believe it is very dignified, noble, modest, and very admirable. Isn’t it?

There is nothing dignified, humble, or modest about suffering in silence. I understand that there are private people, I am one too. But there are people whose hearts are crying out to be heard, people that are tired of suffering in silence. Are we listening to them?

Those who have crossed paths with me, on this issue, will tell you that I don’t play nice, I really don’t. Because I feel that this secrecy attitude is what got most people into the mental health problems they have in the first place. So any agent propagating such secrecy in any form or shape will find me very aggressive.

My issues with we Africans is that we are always eager to tell the person suffering to go and pray to God for healing, but we don’t want them to talk about it! Because there are some evil people who may not be happy for them? Really! Which people?

A lot is to be said for people who won’t be happy because you are talking about your ups and downs with chronic illness. I really do not want to know or associate with those people.

Have you thought about the good talking openly can do for others suffering? Of course not, it doesn’t matter once it is not in your face. Just remember these people can be someone close to you, no one is immune.

Africans attitude towards mental health, and other invisible illnesses need to change.  Secrecy is not a virtue!

Instead, it encourages the feeling of shame. Like the person suffering caused this to themselves by their actions. Which is not the case.

We, Africans,  will rather have A Health-Professional, A Pastor, An Imam, or some other religious leader speak about Mental Health in a lecture. We will sit for hours listening with ease.

But it becomes uncomfortable to us when a friend, family member, someone who actually lives with an invisible illness, daily, decide to speak openly about it.

Let’s be honest here- why does it make you uncomfortable?

Why would you prefer the person to deal with his/her issues quietly?

I think because you are dealing with your issues quietly. A part of you resents someone bold enough to come out and talk about their struggles loudly.

Nobody has a perfect life; that much I know.

We all have one thing or another bothering us. The decision to speak out or not should be entirely yours, not based on some belief or tradition.

As African, we have almost imbibed suffering in silence as a tradition. Like a proud armoury. It is not!!!

Suffering in silence is a choice.

This may be the attitude with people from other parts of the world, I don’t know. but because I am an African and I know our attitude and how we behave. Secrecy is very prevalent in all we do.

I personally think this is one of the reasons we, Africans, are trailing behind others in all aspects of life. We don’t face issues headlong!

My path to getting diagnosed with Fibromyalgia was particularly rough, not pretty at all. I don’t want anybody to go through that if I can help it.

I don’t expect anything from anybody. I appreciate support, kind encouraging words, help (if it is on offer). But I never expect any of it, one of the key things I learned in my travel towards better health and happy life is to Never expect anything.

So when I get any support, encouragement, or kind words,  they are like bonuses. I truly appreciate them, but the heart of the matter is getting my contents to the people it was created for and who will find it inspiring and helpful.

You may have a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend, family member going through this harrowing experience with Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, etc, I want to help you understand them, so you can help them and ease their burden.

Nothing from a professional point of view. Just from a regular person like them.

Lady Gaga speaks openly about her troubles with chronic pain. And I can relate to most of what she said. But she has the resources and a whole team helping to manage her pain. This is a luxury most of us can’t afford. So we gotta do it according to our means. This is where sharing comes in.

Talk openly and honestly. This is not a popularity contest. This is about helping each other.

I am all about positivity, even in the face of adversity, I try to share contents that I feel will help give hope to people who are struggling.

If you can’t see that or you have a problem with that. Why are you here?

If I decide to write every time I get a pain, then I won’t stop writing. instead, I pick key moments, episodes with a message, this is the type of Blogger I am and want to be.

Some people write, some make videos, podcasts, audios, etc. but it all boils down to the same thing. AWARENESS!

Hard to believe, I know, but the only support some people get is on social media. Sad, but that is their reality. They have nobody else to share their troubles with except on social media. Are we to deny them this?

Don’t abuse or discourage what you don’t know!

Please let’s encourage each other in this fight for better health, rather than being judgemental and critical of people’s work.

Or simply do what most people do- IGNORE!

Walk away from it, let people who find my contents useful stay, and we learn from each other.

Criticizing and berating me is not cool.

Moral high ground is a nice place to be, just remembered that this could happen to anyone, anywhere, and at any time.

My decision to speak openly about my challenges didn’t come from a whim. I deliberated hard before choosing to do it.

I strongly believe that the more we talk openly about this, the more people we can help.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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