Self-Care Or Self-Sabotage?

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Halloo,

Self-care is absolutely great. It is one of the best things you can do to make yourself feel worthy. I mean prioritising yourself above everything else is not just healthy but liberating.

Having said that I hope you and I are not using self-care as an excuse to delay progress in life. I really hope so. It is one thing to stay away from toxic situations and it is another to avoid uncomfortable situations that have the potential of making us grow. Spot the difference?

I am an introvert with no social anxiety. I just find most social events tiring. If I drag myself out of my house I actually do enjoy myself. The trick is to get me out. I love solitude a lot.

My anxiety is more from living with chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia. The uncertainties that come with this condition means I never know how I will feel in a blink of an eye. That means cancelling a lot and letting people down, this worries me a lot. So I will rather decline outright than go through the anxiety of not knowing what my health will look like at the crucial time.

I have made peace with fibromyalgia and accepted it for what it is, but I don’t want it to control me and my life. Many people may not understand the challenges and frustrations of this. The constant fear and worry of not knowing how I will feel at any particular time is really scary. I worked myself up so much with this that I always end up tired and sick. So making a decision to stay away from social engagements was not taken lightly,

But I don’t need an expert to tell me that my small business would have even grown more if I put myself out there and network more. It is something I have been promising myself to change but can’t seem to get my act together. Though, I love solitude, I would love to drag myself out to network for my business as it is very essential to growth.

Staying in my comfort zone is a hindrance, in this case, I freely confess. This is not self-care. I want to push through this and do what is needed to get my business and work to where I want them to be. But I am afraid I am struggling. It is not fear. It is reluctance, deeply rooted in my health problems. I don’t want to be stuck in a rut, stagnant because of my health.

Everyone talk about finding a balance, it is very elusive, balance is really hard to find. I am not a shy person, it is just that I really don’t know how. I want to grow and I do a lot and put in lots of work into it. Once it is something I can learn by myself and does not involve me, physically, socialising, I do it with gusto.

I am convinced that I am not alone in this. We hear it every day, we are told to take care of ourselves and protect our mental health. I am a believer in this. But, if we don’t push ourselves and we get too comfortable in the name of protecting ourselves, how are we to grow, especially in business?

Finding a balance is easier said than done, especially if you are a perfectionist like me. I find it particularly hard to commit myself to engagements because of not just the anxiety that comes with the approaching day of engagement, but also the sense of disappointment I feel whenever I had to cancel. All these preyed on my mind.

I learned, not easily, to say NO without feeling guilty. The necessary exposure my business needs is being denied it. I know you can’t eat your cake and have it. I am hoping there are ways around it.

I wont lie to you, avoidance is working well for my mental state, I am not as anxious as when I accept invitations to socialise. But, my professional life, especially my business is feeling the impact.

I try to tell my self that my health is worth more than any business growth. That, it is what it is. But, a part of me keeps saying that I am just using this as an excuse. I really want my business to grow to its full potential without damaging my health.

How do I find a balance?

Help me out here. Your contributions are really needed.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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