WE HAVE ALL LOST OUR WAY

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Halloo,

I think we have lost it, myself included. We have all lost our way. We are all tiptoeing around each other, everyone trying to second guess what the other is not saying but implying in their words. 

I think this is ruining us all. We can’t be upfront about our feelings without being judged. I see people smiling when they are truly hurting. I see people sitting with those who is hurting them all in the name of not being judged wrong or considered troublesome.

How did we get here? Why can’t I tell you what you did to me that hurts? Why? At least listen, you don’t necessarily have to stop doing it if you don’t want to. It is a chance for you to know and make a choice to either stop or not. As it is my choice to either stick with around or move on after telling you and you decided you can’t stop. At least that way we both know what the problem is and we both made conscious choices rather than pretending everything is okay or ghosting each other without explanation. 

I am not naive; I know that life is not as simple as that. But, can’t we make it simple for ourselves by not messing with each other’s heads. I am really tired. I am at peace right now not because of healing but because I deliberately avoid some people and some situation. This is a little worrying because for how long can we keep doing this without changing the world’s dynamics?

Most of us want others to be upfront with us but forget to be upfront with them. We disrespect other people’s boundaries but want ours to be respected. We want loyalty from those we ignore or forget they exist until we need something from them. And we accept all these as normal? especially when their memes and quotes online supporting us.

We want people that we don’t pick our phones to call despite being called by them severally to keep calling us. Forgetting that no matter how much they respect and love us, their own self-esteem is being trifle with. It is always okay when the shoes are on the other feet.

We can all keep talking about loyalty, help, support, and love from others as much as we like, if we don’t start looking inward and start looking at ourselves deeper nothing will be solved. Our actions are the root cause of others reactions. I know someone start it, might not be us, but when are we going to stop it? Or more importantly, how are we to put a stop to it?

Taking people for granted and then claiming they abandoned us in our hours of need is something many people are claiming. I see a vicious circle, a circle that leaves no one out. We are all contributors and participants in this circle. It goes round and round, hurting each of us while we all pretend we are okay with it. How can we be okay with it?

Tell me- Who is that person who is averse to kind words? Who wouldnt love genuine concern when they are down? Who wouldn’t love a little listening ear when the world seems to be crumbling around them? No matter what anyone says, I am firmly convinced that we all want these. But then why not show same to others? and why not appreciate those who do?

I know a couple of people that I reached out to when they said they were not feeling too great. But the reception I got was not encouraging. It was like I was butting into their business.

 I decided to step back and let them heal in their own way. My expectations were that after feeling better they would reach out to me to at least acknowledge my effort and that would take the sting out of the cold reception I got. That didn’t happen. 

Now, I am wary of reaching out. I am trying to heal myself from my many traumas. I can’t have my mental health messed with. But I preach supporting each other and giving each other listening ear. I feel bad when I see or hear someone say they are struggling and I do nothing about it. 

I don’t really know what advice to give to all these but just to state my opinion, observations, and what I think may help. I may be wrong. Please, feel free to correct me or give me ideas on how to navigate this in the comment section below. I will appreciate your help.

We really need to start trusting each other more. Appreciate each other more. Recognised other people’s efforts and kindness no matter how little. Not everyone being friendly to you has ulterior motives. Even if they do have ulterior motives, just appreciate the efforts.

I will keep telling people what they did to me that upset me as I want them to tell me too if I did them wrong. I will only take action based on their response to my complaint. But I will first let them know my feelings. 

I expect no one to change who they are for me just like I won’t change who I am for anyone. But let us make choices based on facts. Being there for each other is a two-way street. Remember to check on those who check on you in your hour of need. Gratitude is way more than just saying THANK YOU. Your actions should do the same.

The gap between us, human race, is widening every day and we are doing more to encourage this by our actions.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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