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Halloo,

Haaaa! Africans, especially Nigerians, we all seem to be talking a lot about mental health and the issues surrounding it, but I fear that most of us are only paying lip service to this subject.

We are all aware or becoming aware of the importance of talking openly about mental health issues. But we are not changing our behaviour to encourage more people to talk openly about their mental health struggles at all.

I still see and hear some Nigerians using depression as something to bully and insult each other on social media. Is this ignorance or just plain stupidity? I wonder. After all, mental health awareness is openly discussed a lot recently and you would think that people should be more careful about issues concerning it.

I am so ashamed to see this happening among my people. Many Nigerians grew up feeling ashamed to talk about anything related to mental health. We are working hard to erase this stigma and some gullible people feel no qualms about throwing cheap shots at each other and using mental health problems as weapons.

Do these idiots not realize that they are discouraging more people from talking openly about their struggles? Do they know what that does to a person? How do we get over the stigma of mental health when this continues to happen?

Let me tell you that talking about this openly helps others to know they are not alone, especially hearing it from someone who shares the same experience. Generally, talking about issues like this is very difficult.

I am a Nigerian, I chose to speak openly about my personal health problems. I want to be a positive example by highlighting the importance of taking mental health seriously.

I knew from the start that my community is filled with a lot of narrow-minded people, but I refused to shy away from it just because of them. I know I will be perceived wrongly, but I am tired, sad, and hurt to see how many people are suffering because of the behaviour of others.

I am standing up for the little group of open-minded people among Nigerians and Africans. I also want those who are going through rough times to know someone here is rooting for them. This is not about seeking attention or looking for sympathy.

How are we to encourage people to talk about mental health, seek help and take control when the deep fear of stigmatization is hanging over them?

Some people are so afraid and ashamed that they can’t even confide in friends. Especially these days that integrity is a lost word to many people. A simple misunderstanding between friends and they will take to social media to spill out their shared secrets. Who needs such friends?

I thought friends (good friends) are there to provide shoulders to lean on when in need? Genuinely supportive people are very important to anybody struggling with mental health.

Instead of being there for one another, make sure your friend is taking proper care by eating, sleeping, exercising moderately, and just keeping the person’s anxiety level as low as possible. Nigerians will urge the person to pray.

Praying is good, don’t get me wrong. All I am saying is that there are other practical things we can do to encourage a person in distress to feel loved and not a burden. Being kind to the person will encourage the person to be kinder to themselves which will improve well-being.

Most Nigerians undervalue the importance of emotional expression, we don’t recognize it as a form of healing. Some people won’t let you talk. They ask how are you and only want you to say you are fine. You might as well be drowning for all they care, once it is not something they can see physically, they just want you to shut up about it.

Mental health issues and their associated problems are not visible unless you really care about the person. Expecting empathy from some Nigerians on any form of invisible illness is like squeezing water from a stone. But it shouldn’t be like that.

It is hard, really hard to struggle and go about as if everything is okay when you are in pain. I can tell you that many people will be in shock if they can just step into my shoes for a day. I live with Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia. Making allowances for people’s ignorance is something I learned to do a long time ago.



Some people shared their problems online desperately seeking support. Most of us have no idea the courage it took that person to speak. Taking a minute to reflect before typing nonsense in response will be appreciated. Online support is the only support some people have. Anxiety and depression have made it impossible for some people to leave their homes or socialize. Please bear this in mind before commenting.

So what if the person is seeking attention? So what? You don’t have to understand before you behave decently. If you don’t have a positive thing to say, keep walking. It is that simple.

Africans don’t speak of achievements because they don’t want to be seen as showing off. Africans don’t talk about difficulties because they don’t want to be seen as fishing for sympathy or attention. Can we not see the danger in all these? A situation where we can’t talk about anything that is important. We are to deal with whatever is going on in our lives in silence.

Let’s acknowledge how someone is feeling, especially if they trust us enough to share with us and listen with undivided attention. Offer support if you can truly give it.

We are all humans, we go through up and down in life. We want to protect ourselves from further hurts by pretending everything is okay when it is not. But it will eventually come to a head and burst. Let’s encourage each other to speak up about our emotions before it becomes an illness.

Many people don’t believe that invisible illnesses are real. I hope they never get the chance to find out. But whether you see it or not just be kind and show empathy.

Talking about mental health issues provides ways to get help to get better. Sharing my journey makes me happy and confident. I want others in my shoes to feel that. Overcoming the stigma attached to mental health is healing on its own. We can get better with self-love, medication, therapy, and being surrounded by amazing people.

Many of us feel lost and alone. It is the reality of living with chronic illness. Pain is exhausting. The numerous symptoms that come with it are mentally killing.

It is a sad fact that many of us spend too much time defending ourselves from people who don’t listen but have ideas or reasons for our numerous symptoms. I have a stabbing pain that goes through me like electric shocks at intervals. I have brain fog, I sometimes itch badly for no reason. All these and many more are down to fibromyalgia. These take their toll on me emotionally.

Talking is an outlet. Expressing them helps to feel and process how we are feeling. This makes many Nigerians uncomfortable. My people are good at contributing money to help. But money can’t solve all problems. Emotional support is needed here; Calm the mind. Some things bother us so bad that if we don’t talk about them we feel like going mad.

Some people want to talk but just can’t find the right words to use in explaining themselves. Sharing helps them. A support network is crucial for healing.

Let’s improve conversations about mental health the same way we do about physical health. Nothing to be ashamed of. Many people are going around only hanging on to sanity just by a tiny thread. Why not be the reason they keep hanging on? Just be there.

Please let me hear what your thoughts are in the comment section below. Thanks.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.
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3 thoughts on “Africans’ Alarming Attitude Towards Mental Health

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