Mental Wellbeing Of Migrant’s Children

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Halloo,

How can we help our young people to navigate the difficulties of life as an African black child born in a predominantly white society? I am sure this is not a question most African parents in the diaspora have asked themselves.

We, African parents in the diaspora, automatically assumed that our children are doing well and growing up properly once they are doing academically well, not causing any trouble in school, okay at home, and physically well. Are we talking to them properly?

Even adults should know that people can be in a crowd and still be lonely, appearances can be deceptive. Our wards may be feeling isolated and not tell anyone because they feel nobody wants to know. These have been linked to suicide in so many people, especially young people, recently.

These children may be embarrassed to talk about their inner conflicts, especially when talking about things like that isn’t what you normally do. To build trust in anyone to confide in you is a gradual process that takes place way before the need for shared confidences.

An emotionally distressed child with no one to talk to is very vulnerable. We shouldn’t be so lost in our own world and not take an interest in our children’s mental wellbeing. Most of us, Africans, are after academic achievements, doing household chores, spiritual development, and physical health. That is it. No effort put into emotional wellbeing. This needs to change, please.

We miss the little signs that show that these children are struggling. When some of us noticed we make assumptions instead of talking kindly with the child. Those who make the progress of talking to the child about it don’t always approach the solution to the situation properly. A troubled mind needs support and understanding, not reprimands.

We are still uncomfortable when we hear someone talking about their emotional problems. A discussion that should be ongoing so that others will find strength in it and open up without fear of being mocked. But we shut this discussion down quickly with some curt statements and move on.

We don’t place much value on our mental wellbeing and that of our children. Knowingly or unknowingly we still encourage the stigma surrounding mental health by our actions. The whole world is slowly erasing the stigma associated with mental health, but we Africans still find it difficult to see mental health problems for what they are.

A fact most of us in the diaspora are painfully aware of is that we are not from the place we live. Especially Africans, our colour make us stick out like sore thumbs. No matter what passport we hold, no matter our legal status, no matter how much we integrated into the society, this fact is never going away.

Now, imagine children born there. No other place to regard as theirs but where they were born and live. To be painfully confronted with the fact that they are not from these places by the actions of others. That will mess with a lot of people’s heads, especially if it comes at a period when you are struggling with a lot in your life. Our children need our help, practical help.

It would be nice to have people of the same colour and from the same community as these children as therapists. I am saying this because to really understand the issues troubling these kids, you must have a good idea of what goes on in their community.

This is a big challenge. Most of the Africans in Diaspora with these attitudes are mostly low-income earners. So therapy won’t be a priority on their list. That means they will have to make do with state-funded therapy. These therapists are good in their own right. But unfortunately, do they understand what they are dealing with?

Mental health issues like anxiety and depression are sometimes from deep-rooted issues. To deal with them effectively you have to know more about the issues in the sufferers’ backgrounds. Their mental health issues and needs are different from other children.

The future is bleak for these young ones with domineering parents who choose careers for their children no matter the objections from the children. Parents who believe that because of the colour of their skin, the only place they will ever excel is in the healthcare and medical profession. No matter what these children want, enormous pressure is put on them to tow the healthcare and medical line. A recipe for future mental health problems.

How are these young people to feel comfortable talking about their mental health issues when the parents or adults in their lives can’t even deal with their own problems logically? Most Africans solution to all problems is prayer, practical things swept aside.

Our children are suffering, my fellow Africans, they are really suffering. Not just because the society they live in doesn’t fully accept them, but because of our own ridiculous refusal to see what is under our noses.

How many of us can honestly say that our children will come to us if they are feeling overwhelmed? They only come to most African parents when they have physical problems. You ever wonder why?

Most of us don’t listen. We feel all answers and healings come from religious houses. Instead of taking practical steps to help, we make matter worse by our actions. Making the child feel regret for opening up in the first place. Some acts like their enemies are out to attack them through the child in question.

A vigilant parent should notice when their children’s behaviour change. And start talking with them before it becomes a major problem. A parent who pays close attention will properly feel there is something wrong immediately there is a change in their child.

A conscious person will deal with the problem with care and calm. But most of us, Africans, act like everything is war, done to attack us, that demons are being sent to punish us. Forgetting that life happens, sometimes coping can get difficult, our job as parents are to help our children navigate this process as easy as possible.

Our refusal to talk about mental health, to take it seriously, to learn about it is creating huge problems for us and most especially for the younger generation. Can we start taking mental wellbeing of our children seriously, please? Learn how to deal with your own mental health problems properly, so you can help your child seek help if needed.

Signs emotional stress to look out for in your children

According to experts these signs are a pointer that your child may be struggling:

• If your child starts isolating themself from other family members and friends.
• If a child is suddenly having a constant low mood and lack of energy.
• If a child starts losing interest and motivation in activities previously enjoyed.
• If a child starts referring to themself as ugly, rubbish, boring, stupid, or such negative qualities about themself.
• If a child starts self-harming.
• If a child’s eating habits changed. Too much appetite or too little.
• If you or the teachers noticed the child’s poor concentration.
• If there is a decrease in academic performance.
• If a child starts sleeping too much or too little.
• If an active child suddenly become timid and quiet
• If a child suddenly become tearful for little or no reason
• If a child starts faking sickness to stay off school

Lots of things to look out for. Be vigilant.

Take time to listen to your children, do this before there is any problem. Expensive toys and exotic holidays can’t beat your attention. Show an interest in things that matters to them. Share confidences. Don’t be too eager to find faults. Demonstrate to them that you are always ready to listen. Be calm, you don’t want to alarm the child more by being hysterical. Above all, help the child seeks appropriate help if needed.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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