Let’s Not Take Our Frustrations Out On Others

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Halloo,

That you are having a rough time does not mean everyone you meet must suffer from it. It is a matured person who will make the effort to maintain their attitude even in the face of great temptations.

There are always reasons why some people are bad-tempered, behaved rashly or speak hotly to someone. Some people are irritants naturally and they bring out the worst in you, especially when you are under great strains yourself. Don’t let them pull you down.

Yes, sometimes we could be having a bad day or things are not going as expected, the normal thing to do is to avoid using other people as punching bags. Easier said than done, especially if you are living with a chronic illness, even more so invisible ones.

I live with fibromyalgia which comes with constant pain and all other chronic complications. I will be telling a lie if I said that I am an easy person to live with every time and every day. No matter how careful I am, I still get grouchy sometimes. But I try my very best to not to take it out on others, it’s not their faults.

When I noticed that I am in a bad mood and my tolerance level for almost everything is really low, I try to avoid people. If I don’t do this, I will end up doing something I will regret, and things will become awkward afterwards. Remember, what I have is an invisible illness, these people may not be aware of the pain and turmoil I am in.

Those I can’t avoid; I try to keep my attitude as polite as possible. Believe it’s not an easy thing to do. I have lost many friendships because of this, especially in my early 20s. I spent those years not really telling my friends what was wrong with me. I didn’t know what was wrong with me either.

What my friends see then will be a person who is friendly occasionally and becomes very moody and snappy at times. I didn’t help matters by not apologising after these snappy episodes, especially when I felt it was well deserved.

Now, I know better. If I get snappy with people, I go back to apologise. Though I try to keep my temper even and avoid situations that are provocative, especially when I have been in nonstop pain for days. I am learning to remember to take the moods of others into account.

Our daily encounters with people are not just about us. As we are all struggling with one thing or another in our lives. If we all go around behaving badly or have bad attitudes towards each other just because life dealt us a bad hand, how difficult will living be?

Most people with invisible illnesses become empaths and healers because nature has forced them to sit back and re-evaluate what is important. They are more aware of their own moods and the moods of others. I think it comes with the territory.

But I feel some warriors are missing this part of the journey. It is understandable to want our family and friends to understand us and be there for us unconditionally. Why don’t we help them by making an effort to keep our moods in check as much as possible?

I know we are doing a lot already, and we can’t help ourselves sometimes. But please don’t use your friends and family, especially immediate family members, too badly. Remember no matter how much they try they can never get the full grasp of what you are going through.

To those without any invisible illness, my message is simple. No matter what is going on in your life please don’t take it out on others. Be polite. Be kind. Be helpful. If someone or a situation is rubbing you the wrong way, walk away. If you can’t walk away, try to remain calm and not do something you will regret later. And if you try all these and didn’t work out, and you end up doing something you regret, please apologise. Who knows what the other person is dealing with too?

Let me hear your opinion in the comment section below. I will appreciate it if you can help click like, and also share this post with your friends. Thanks so much.

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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