Society Is The Greatest Barrier To Women’s Progress

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Halloo,

Whenever we hear feminism, most people quickly conclude that it is about women looking to be more superior than men.

Feminism is often used in the context of fighting men for control, but I do not share this view. Feminism, to me, is a fight to live exactly as I wish, with no barriers. I don’t want to be forced into a corner just because I am female. I want to make my own decisions, not have someone make them for me.

There are differences between how men and women are made, both biological and psychological. So, I am not here to fight about who is more superior, or who should be in control. This fight is about being seen, being heard, and being viewed as a human being, not a sub-human or assistant human being.

I am not trying to be a man. I don’t want to be a man; I love being a woman. And I think this is the feeling shared by a lot of women. We, women, are not decorative objects to be hidden so as not to cause societal evil. We are fully functioning human beings. I know some women are happy to be seen as decorative objectives, I am not. It is all about choices.

I want people to see my potential and what I can contribute to society. See my worth not because I am a woman but because I am a human being. I don’t want any special treatment because I am a woman. I want to make decisions, I want to win, I want to fail, I want to experience everything as a human being.

Some women are living in society-imposed prison, they yearn for the freedom to do what they really want, but they are too afraid of the harsh consequences. They can only wonder what it would be like if they have this free choice to do what they really want to do.

It is no wonder women living in developed countries, despite the higher level of stress and anxieties, are still happier than women in other parts of the world. The level of freedom they enjoyed can only be dreamed of by women in stricter societies. They experience higher life satisfaction and feelings of being worthy.

That we are women does not mean we have to be hidden, dictated to like children, all our lives. I particularly get tired of being told to do this or be that, just because I am a woman. It is particularly sad when I see women supporting this. I mean, men have been programmed from infancy to see women as theirs. I can see how difficult it will be to change their mindset. But for a woman to condemn another woman for saying- No, I want to be an individual? It is just too disheartening.

In some societies, a girl, like all children, will be under her parent’s guidance till she is ready for marriage. She will then be handed over to the husband, unlike the boy child, to continue to be guided by him. Nothing bad in this, you say?

Yes, but at what point does this woman start making her own life decisions? After all, men do make their own decisions. Some men take this role society placed on them too far- what should be gentle guidance will be turned into a full-blown dictatorship.

That is why I am of the opinion that the greatest barrier women faced is society. These societal barriers can be rooted in cultural or religious traditions.

Tackling these barriers is the way forward. This will be the true liberation for some women. To live without conditions imposed by society, to make their own decisions and choices.

Some women are scared shitless of losing their marriage, children, livelihood, or family rejection that they will rather toe the line despite being very unhappy.

Women like this have every reason to worry. Coming from a very religious background myself, I know how tightly some people hold on to some values. The sad thing is those affected negatively are mostly women, and those who condemn women who refused to toe the line are mostly women too.

Most societal values are good and you can see the reason behind them. Most values are forbidding views of some leaders that are bordering on ridiculousness.

Good or bad, if another person is not been hurt, we shouldn’t force another person to bend. Preach it, tell us why it is good for us. But don’t force it down our throats. Don’t stifle us with your power-driven moral codes.

I am a lover of conservative, decent dressing. But, I don’t think it is my place or anyone’s place to dictate how anyone should dress. Dressing is a personal matter. A person’s dressing code is in the person’s personality. Mandating that person to dress differently is messing with their personality.

Given the chance, I will still speak against what I considered indecent dressing. Remember, what I considered indecent or decent is not what another person will consider so. It is all good once we keep it at the opinion level and not go all gun blazing to attack people on their choices and enforce our values on others.

In wealthier urban areas, it’s increasingly common for women to uncover their hair, and many wear colored abayas instead of the standard black.

I think we all must learn to disapprove of something without turning it into a societal restriction. Most of this disapproval is the result of societal conditioning. So deeply planted in some, they can’t see any other way but that way. No amount of reasoning will ever change their minds.

Women, like me, who choose to think for themselves. Still love their culture, their religion, but refused to be blind to the negative aspects are judged fiercely and condemned.

Pushing boundaries is not for the faint-hearted, especially if you come from a very strict society. The condemnation can be very fierce, especially from your nearest and dearest.

Women having the audacity to make a choice is horrifying to some people. Their forbidding looks, cold stares, sideways glances, open condemnations, silences, are the tiny parts of what these women will have to face.

Prepare to lose relationships and friends, even those who secretly wished they have the willpower to take the same steps. They will avoid you so they are not rejected by society with you. who can blame them?

These women pay very high prices for deciding to live on their terms. those that are not married may never get a man with a strong enough backbone to take them on. Those already married risk losing their marriage. It is very tough. This is feminism!!!

Society questions their faith, their commitment to their heritage, attack on every level. Why? Just because they choose to be women who want to be and think for themselves.

We are all accustomed to doing some things in certain ways. If someone decided one day to do theirs differently and they are not hurting anyone, why not let them be? If a woman decides she does not want to cover her head anymore, who is she hurting? Why force her? Why blackmail her with rejection?

Criticize her by all means, but do it in your mind. Let’s leave the lecturing of a fully grown woman who made a conscious decision out. Do you think she is going to hell? Okay, but keep that opinion to yourself. Let God be the judge. Stop playing God or Personal Assistant to God.

Some women’s lives are so controlled that they can’t speak freely, laugh freely, do anything freely, without the permission of others, mostly men. I am not talking about young teenage girls, I am talking about middle-aged women. How sad is that?

The bravery of some women is what is motivating other women to take control of their lives. Changes don’t happen because we wished it. It happened because we get up and do something about it.

For me, I still think that not letting any adult make their own decisions is not humane at all. Limiting their existence to uphold some societal values is not the way, for anyone, to live.

We are all guilty one way or another in this. Even if we speak about this till the kingdom comes, I know some people will never see this as wrong. That is fine! Just make sure you are the one making the decisions that affect your life.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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