I am a Feminist. But…

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Halloo,

I am a Feminist. But…

I am not the loud and aggressive man-hater the word Feminism is being stereotyped into.  Neither do I need to strip naked and posed in the nude to show I am empowered.

This is why so many women are not keen on calling themselves feminists these days. This is not the image I want to portray with my type of feminism.

You see, I am all for gender equality. I am a staunch believer that nobody should be pressed down by society-imposed gender roles. It is frustrating to see what many women have to go through just because of their gender.

It is a fact that we live in a Patriarchal world, it is just that this is more obvious in some societies than others. Giving control to a woman is an abomination to some men, no matter how capable that woman is.

But most women or some so-called feminists forget that this fight is not to make women more superior to men, but a fight for equality. Elevate people not based on gender but on their abilities.

A true feminist does not stand by and let any group or person be persecuted based on their sex, religion, tribe, race, sexual orientation, or gender. Maybe if men were the marginalized and oppressed sex, I probably will be a masculinist!

Degrading your husband is not feminism.

Yes, I said it!

Many so-called modern women are using feminism to turn their partners into balls, to be kicked about. To be belittled. To be ridiculed. To be insulted. No matter who is watching or listening.

I particularly detest such women. If your partner did something to you that you find hard to forgive and move on, please leave. Don’t hold him or her in emotional slavery. Part as friends and let everybody go in peace. Don’t hold on and keep punishing and belittling the person.

Things happen. We offend each other. Sometimes so bad that the injured party is really hurt and can’t let the episode go. Please don’t imprison yourself and your partner. Move on. Forget how society will judge you.

Let’s forget this nonsense we are practising in the name of feminism, it is not.

Being an empowered woman comes with intelligence and wisdom. Knowing the importance of having high regard for your husband and partner is one of them in my opinion.

This is the fight true feminists are advocating for, a fight for men to value the women in their lives as equals. Please, dear ladies, do the same for men in your lives too.

Do you want us to win the war for equality only to realise we have to start another war on behalf of men?

Many men still think it’s their birthrights to treat women as inferiors and subordinates, which is really disgusting. But some men are not like that, they believe in equality and are giving women their rights to be individuals, not an overgrown child to be dictated to. Such men are rare, if you have one of such men in your life, please, please, appreciate them.

You can refuse to be dictated to and controlled without turning into a monster. I think so anyway. I think some women are so afraid of turning into their docile mothers that they end up turning into their patronising fathers.

Nobody is born to clean and cook. We do it as something that must be done. We all have to do our bits to keep life going. Just that nobody is ever happy doing something when it is imposed on them as what they are created for.

Women who wash their husbands’ clothes, cook for him and take care of the home are not necessarily dominated. Some women are happy to do these things and made a choice to do these things. Does that make them less of a feminist than you and I? I don’t think so.

Feminism is about having choices and using them. Not being forced to do anything just because society, religion, tradition, or whatever dictates so.

Some women are happy to defer to their husbands, contented to play the subordinate role. Why not, if they are happy? After all, we are all willing slaves in one form or another to different things.

I am sceptical though when I hear a woman says she is all for total submission to her husband. I worry for her, and for her children. I suppose my anger and worry is because I have witnessed what early marriages do to some young girls. Girls that would have contributed to the development of their communities if not for narrow-minded fathers and from mothers who think raising objections is disrespecting and disloyal to their husbands.

My personal opinion is that most of the people turning feminism to a man-hating movement are taking modernisation into a new phase. They are on an ego trip that causes nothing but destruction. Which is fine if only they will stop using feminism as a cover-up for whatever issues they may have with men.

There are many heart-breaking issues for feminists to speak out on.

Do these so-called modern women know that girls as young as 10 years old are still being married off to men old enough to be their grandfathers? Do they know that some Widows are still being forced to marry their deceased husband’s relatives? Do they know that many girls are still not getting an education because of their gender?

How about women getting paid based on their gender and not on their work?

In the grand scheme of things. Hating men is not the issue here, but changing the perception of how women and girls are viewed.

You have power, you can stand up for yourself. This is something great. Please don’t turn it into a bad thing.

We are women, we are human, and we deserve to make our own choices. We deserve to be treated equally as men. We shouldn’t hate anybody. We are here for equality nor hatred.

Are you a feminist? Let me hear your views in the comment section below.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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