Why I don’t worry about my weight anymore.

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Halloo,

To those who don’t live with chronic pain or any form of invisible illness for that matter it can be hard for them to realize that almost all aspects of our lives are affected by our illnesses.

I was a skinny person. I was that skinny that I was even given nicknames because of it. So imagine me, that skinny child, now over weight? yeah that is invisible illness for yah!

I remember someone telling me recently that I really need to watch my weight, it is becoming too much and getting out of control. Normally I will be upset but this time it just washed over me. I did not get upset.

Why? I am past caring. I just want a good quality of life no matter what weight I am.

When the weight first started piling on I was really sad and angry. I put myself through a lot trying to keep it down. It really added more to my already high stress level. I fought a lot of thoughts to get to where I am today. A state of acceptance.

I still catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror sometimes and wished I had my slim stature again but this thought is always quickly banished and replaced with a more healthier thought.

Let’s not forget that I am no spring chicken. I am 45 years old. We all know once you crossed 40 the weight just start piling on. It becomes harder to build muscle and we move a lot slower as we get older. So invisible illness or not weight gain is inevitable after 40.

But I have been gaining weight even before I turn 40. Though I try to keep active but my illness makes it impossible to move as fast as other people. Then medications is another huge contribution to weight gain. I know this is really the case in my own situation.

A lot of things contribute to weight gain when you are dealing with illnesses. Medications, fatigue, lack of movement, inability to exercise, low mood, depression, comfort eating, hormones. And many other factors.

For me my healing started when I start fighting my thoughts. I still have a really long way to go. But I have accepted and embraced Chronic Pain and fibromyalgia for what they are in my life. I am redirecting my energy to making sure fibromyalgia doesn’t control me.

Most of the people I look up to and really admire are those ones that are still battling their own problems and they refused to wallow and instead channel their pain and troubles to help others. This is what I want to do too.

My soul rejoices every time I get feedback from others saying they find my work helpful. That is more satisfying to me than any slim figure.

Yes, pain changes people, hard for it not to, especially when you look totally fine outside but hurting badly inside. I just try to change my mindset so that the changes in me will be used for positive things. I chose to remove weight worries out of the equation.

Believe me every seconds a chronic pain Warrior fights counts. Society is good at celebrating people who defy odds and come out victorious. For those with chronic pain, defying odds is a daily occurrence. We need to be celebrated constantly not put down, especially not on something as frivolous as weight.

The strength it takes to get out of bed, get children ready for school, running around all day carrying out activities even completely healthy and strong people find challenging. Many people have no idea what this is about. They will even criticize and blame without knowing how much tears and determination it took for the person standing in front of them channel to be there.

How about you take time to find out how someone’s life is really going instead of complaining about their weight? By listening to the person you are helping more than by pointing out the obvious.

The psychological torture that chronic pain inflicts on its sufferers is really harrowing. I know from experience that even at times when I am pain free I find it hard to really relax. I am always anxious that it might rear it’s head anytime soon. Nobody deserves to live like that.

Even though I appear to be perfectly okay, smiling and joking but I hurt a lot. Sometimes more bearable than other other times. There are times that it is not so invisible if you take a look closely. Instead of looking at my big tummy.

I have to worry about Sleeplessness, stiffness, joints and body pain, foot pain, brain fog, shooting pain, hair loss, mood swings, and extreme fatigue among other things. Adding weight worry to that list is not exactly helpful, is it?

Let’s be considerate in all we do. Obesity may not be healthy, but your hurtful words are hardly going to help. Our actions, words, behavior can make a difference if we take time to think before doing anything.

My mental health is more important to me than my weight. Are you with me on this? Let me hear your opinion in the comment section below. Thanks.

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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