Talking is a form of intimacy.

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Halloo,

Do you have someone you can say absolutely anything that is on your mind to without feeling uncomfortable or being judged?

If your answer is Yes, let me say a big congratulations to you.  People like that are rare to find.

What most of us do when having a conversation with people is to say what we think the other person wants to hear because we are afraid of being judged for our thoughts.

Which leads to frustration really, because how do we connect when our thoughts are not in the open?

I find talking to be very intimate. The few occasions I have truly connected with people in my life happened through talking.

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t have to agree on everything, but there is quality to their responses and approaches that encourage me to talk more. I think it comes from being open-minded. What do you think?

I am naturally a talker, I have an opinion on a lot of things. I think because I read and observe a lot.

But that is just general talk. Me contributing my 2 cents to topics that interest me, or simply keeping a conversation going to avoid any awkwardness.

But the kind of talk that leads to intimacy is way deeper. You know those things that puzzle you about life or an aspect of life, religion, sexuality, marriage, and so forth?

Those kinds of topics, when you can sit with someone and have a no barred discussion with all your weird thoughts out in the open, that is intimate.

We will all like to connect with someone at this level, am I right?

But prejudice, close-mindedness, pride, self-righteousness, morality, and stuff like that won’t let us. Shame really!

May I be so bold and say that talking on this level is more intimate than sex? I honestly think so!

I am not talking about people talking at you or talking to you. This is purely people talking with you. You share your thoughts, no matter how weird, and they shared theirs.

Discussing on this level is not about how weird your thoughts are, but to make sense of it, and share with someone who appreciates the way your mind works.

Few people, in fact, I exaggerate, a very tiny tiny number of people can do this.

Many people have been programmed from birth not to think for themselves. There are sets of rules they follow, and that is it. They don’t question anything. If you are not careful you will be labelled a bad influence.

How do you have any meaningful conversation with people like that? It is like banging your head against a brick wall.

I really truly believe that the success of any relationship (marriage, friendship, or otherwise) lies in deep connection through talking. Connection so deep that you can be in each other’s company and not talk but totally comfortable. That won’t happen if you don’t start by talking first.

Feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong, I am of the strong opinion that most people end up in therapy because of nobody to talk to properly. nobody to open up to without barriers.

We go through life struggling with our thoughts and thinking we can never be understood by anyone when the person standing next to us maybe craving the same thing- Deep connection.

Who is to make the first move?

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like, and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

Stay with me,

Ruka

About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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