Before you condemn Social Media…

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Halloo,

How badly is Social Media impacting our lives? This is a topic being hotly debated by everyone in one form or another.  Rightly so?

Some of us have had experiences, witnessed, or read about the many horror stories of the bullying and all the carry-ons online to know this argument is truly justified.

Now! Before you totally write social media off let me remind you of a couple of things.

Social media has a lot of positive opportunities to explore too, just let’s be open-minded as you read along.

Those who are around when the television first came into homes will have stories to tell of the doom and gloom predicted and probably happened. But many of us can’t imagine our childhood without TV.

Social Media is the new age.

Social media is not going anywhere, instead, more and more platforms are springing up. So, you better learn how to make it work to your advantage.

Because just like in real life, you meet assholes sometimes, you can never manage what they are going to do, but what you can manage is your own reaction and how to deal with them.

In our rush to condemn social media, we forget the amazing career some people have created for themselves by using social media. We can create anything or be anything we want too if we can cut out the noise and remember why we are on social media in the first place.

We can become known for something. We can achieve our dreams. We can do a lot!

Please, I am not talking about those seeking cheap fame or popularity. Those people so desperate to be famous that controversy is their only skill and tool. There is a huge difference between being famous and being known– A topic for another day.

I am talking about hardworking people, people who have real things to offer but due to one reason or another would have remained unknown if not for social media. I have seen some incredible people and incredible things that are made possible through online platforms.

What are you doing with your social media platform?

Taking a pause and asking yourself this question, might be a real eye-opener to some.

There are some great people and amazing pages used for the purpose of Education, Quality Entertainment, Information, Motivation, Inspiration, Training, Career building, Career Progression, Business, Health, Beauty, and Connecting with like-minded people.

The list of positive things to be gained on social media is endless. So also is the list of atrocities on social media. There is a Yoruba saying- If you decide to close your eyes when a bad person is walking by, you won’t know when a good person will pass you by.

Everything great comes with good and bad, we have to decide how to tap into the good without the bad rubbing off on us.

To survive on Social Media I made some ground rules for myself which I followed rigidly. I think to survive online whether for business or personal purposes you have to have some rules. Of course, you will be judged, you will be criticised, you will be laughed at, but the main thing is to achieve your goals with your sanity intact.

To combat the negative side of social media you need to make some rules for yourself, it is called SELF-CARE! Check out some of my rules:

I AM SELECTIVE OF WHO I FOLLOW

I am super selective of pages I follow. No matter how much I love you, your page has to be a positive one. I am hardly on social media on days that I feel really good, those are the days I do my work. But on rotten days when I can’t do much work that is when I go to social media and scroll through my timeline. It is important for me to see uplifting stuff and not things to depress me more. So consistently uplifting posts are my kind of thing.

I DONT FOLLOW CELEBRITIES

I don’t follow celebrities, even those I like and admire. Call it jealousy or not, but I don’t want to look at lifestyles that are beyond my means. If I hear a story about them and I am interested I will go on google, search for the article and read about it.

I don’t want to be confronted with celebrities daily antics, I really don’t think its healthy for me.

I don’t understand the craze about wanting to know the details of another person’s life anyway, celebrity or not.

I FACE MY OWN PATH

Honestly, your time online will be more rewarding if you face your own path. Most people get distracted by comparing their lives with other people. But if you are so busy following your path you won’t have enough time to worry about some other people.

Constantly seeing a particular image affect us and our perception. It will be naïve and foolish to think you won’t be affected by what you see on social media, no matter how strong minded you are. What you see constantly will affect how you view yourself, so following some people is like feeding your insecurities. that is why many people are not happy with their body image, having low self-esteem, and unhappy with their appearance and life.

I remembered there was a time when all I see on social media are pictures of my fellow Africans decked up in expensive laces and jewellery, every weekend going to one function or another. I use to wondered where they get the money to do this every weekend. I was so caught up in this that I can’t see images like these without these thoughts running through my mind.

The fact is, I am not a very social person, I rarely go to parties or functions. So, you will think this shouldn’t bother me at all.  But it did and in a big way.

I was obsessed with the thought- where are they getting the money from? I mean to wear different expensive clothes and jewellery, almost every weekend.

My solution was to remove people like that from my eye-line.

I am not judging them, but I don’t want to be bothered by things like that.

Just because you unfollow someone does not mean you hate them, it is necessary just so you can protect your mental health. One man’s food is another man’s poison.

They have to live their lives and I have to live mine too.

NOBODY’S LIFE IS PERFECT

This might be stating the obvious, but need saying anyway. NOBODY HAS A PERFECT LIFE. Repeat after me, Nobody’s life is perfect. It is amazing how many people look at pictures and wished they have the same life as that person in the picture. If you are ever in such situation please remember that maybe if you knew the baggage the person in that picture is carrying and covering with a smile and clothes, you might not wish for that person’s life anymore. The grass always appears greener across the way.

I DON’T DO PRIVATE MESSAGES

Unless it is business related I don’t engage in private messages or chats, especially with people I don’t know in real life or haven’t form any rapport with on an open forum.

So saying ‘Hi’ and expecting a response will be met with silence. If your intentions are pure come to the open space.

Social Media is used by some as a dating app. Which is fine except most of these people don’t care whether you are married or not.

Not cool!

I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY INTERPRETATIONS

If we can also take responsibility for the interpretations we give to pictures, posts, comments, and things like that on social media it will be great.

Most of us want other people to be happy and to do things that make them happy. But we called them ‘fake’ for posting happy pictures of themselves. Who is to blame here?

Some people create a life for you (in their minds), they help you live that life (in their minds), they then get jealous of the illusion they created (in their minds). Yet, blame you for everything. If you let people like that control you or prevent you from achieving your goals, it is up to you.

Different people will post different things, how you see these things and how you react to them is all up to you.

I choose to see the good in things. Those that are impossible for me to see any good in, I simply cut out.

I STOPPED SEEKING VALIDATION THROUGH LIKES

The thrill of ‘LIKES’ is something we have all experienced. I get satisfaction from seeing positive reactions to my contents. But I learned not to dwell too much on it for the sake of my mental health.

This is the kind of validation that is wanted by many people that lead them to do bizarre things to get it.

Let me tell you a secret- Most of those clicking like never even read your work, buy, or take it further.

Some do all these but never click any button. So please stop judging the quality of your contents through likes (Analytics will tell you otherwise).

I don’t think anyone can accuse me of ever fighting or blaming them for not liking my contents.

Just love what you do. Everything else will be icing on the cake.

IT IS ALL ABOUT CONTENT FOR ME

I really don’t care if you are the loveliest person on earth if you post contents I find annoying, you are muted.

Some people take pleasure in inviting you to watch all these trashy ‘Talk Shows’ on social media, I unfollow people who tagged me to things like that, no matter how much I respect the person.

When you think about it- in real life you see some people are forever whining and complaining while some people are optimistic.

Please when you are looking for who to hang out with, who will you choose?

You can tell a lot about someone from the content they post on their pages. So choose wisely. Many people disagree with me, but I maintain that if you are not happy with something or you don’t want to be associated with something, why post or share it?

Any form of unsocial behavior is promptly dealt with on my page, no explanation given.

Be prepared that others may delete, unfollow, or mute you too, that is the way it goes, not everyone will like your contents just like you don’t like everyone’s content.

Some people are forever glued to their phones, you can’t have a decent conversation with them, but they claim they don’t use social media a lot. A case of the pot calling kettle black.

Be selective and have a clear reason why you are in a particular space, online or offline.

I have to say that leaving social media to stay sane is not an option for some people because the drama following them is not from social media, but from their own life, so whether they leave or not the dramas are ever present.

Healthy behaviour is a choice whether on social media or off it. Learn to practice it and follow those who practice it.

I am ready to let go of anything holding me back from being my ultimate self. Are you ready too?

Social media can be a fun and productive place, just take the necessary precaution to protect yourself.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please, your contributions to this post will be appreciated in the comment section below. Help by clicking like and share with your friends. Also, don’t forget to join other subscribers to receive notifications of new posts by email. I appreciate it.

Stay with me,

Ruka

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About Post Author

Ruka

My name is Ruka. Born and bred in Nigeria. Now living in Ireland. I am a Woman, Feminist, Wife, Mother, Muslim, Black, and African. I am an Entrepreneur who also works in Finance Administration. I am a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Warrior. I love writing and hope to make a name for myself doing it.

rukaganiyu5@gmail.com

https://www.rukasplace.com

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